God is Love

Today was the first day in a long time that it rained here in the Springs. Thank God, because we needed it and it helped keep things cool and relaxing. It was also the first day of no school for me! Hooray for me, no more school…until I start my Master’s Program…I’m giving myself some much needed time off. Overall it was a great day until about 2:00 Mountain time.

My sister called and told me that my Dad had been hit by a car while jogging and was being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. A little later she called with the details. He has a collapsed lung, his back is broken in two places, a dislocated shoulder, messed up legs, broken teeth and air in his chest. He can wiggle his toes, so it looks like there is no paralysis. I am in a surreal state right now. I cannot believe it. Then the Georgia State Patrol officer came to the hospital and said the lady who hit him was three times over the legal limit for alcohol. She is currently being held at the jail, she swore she only had two glasses of wine. Sure thing, lady, and pigs are flying over my house right now dropping chocolate candy bars.

I cannot help but feel extremely sympathetic for my father. Almost one year ago he had a horseriding accident in which he had a partially collapsed lung, 15 stitches in his arm, a few cracked ribs and other injuries. Before that, a few years ago, he was in a car accident and now has a metal rod in his leg. About one and half years ago he had surgery for colon issues and has just recently healed from that. I wonder why a man has so much pain in his life. He is a wonderful man, completely sold out to God. He heads up the children’s ministry at his church and has devoted his life to seeing children learn that Jesus loves them and wants to be their friend forever.

I know God is in control, but I wonder what he is working out in my father’s life and my mother’s life too. She has a hard time sitting back and watching Dad go through this pain. I have been reading “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. He asks the question, “Where is God? Go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is in vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face.” He also writes about the fear involved with grieving who it is similar to feeling fear and the increased forgetfulness. He talks about the will of God being done, but we have to realize God’s will is not always good or easily understood. One thing that really stands out to me is, “Don’t talk to me about the consolations of religion,” Lewis writes, “or I shall suspect that you do not understand.” No religion offers the feeling that God is love and God loves us, despite all.

So in the middle of my own grief: my grief of being over a thousand miles away from my family during this time, my grief that my father, again, is enduring severe pain and suffering, I am forced to rely on God. God’s love is what I’m clinging to in order to stay alert, stay awake and just be for my children, my husband and my family.

Please pray for my father, my mother and my family. We all know God and his intense, fulfilling love. I implore you to bask in it, breath it in deeply and know that despite all God is Love.